This time last week it was my 19th birthday and since then I’ve lost the love of my life, destroyed my family’s beliefs in me, realised I can’t trust anyone, seen a real life OD happen to someone I know, watched Kian’s face as he realised something he’d been letting eat him alive for years [...]

Well something finally happened and oh gosh it’s a big one. Bloody David Hampton again. Kian’s gotten it this time. His ‘mix cd’ that was fleabayed finally got back, he puts it on and it’s a recording of him confessing to Dieter a while ago that he hit a kid with his car while drink-driving [...]

Okay, this might sound absolutely crazy but, is there any chance do you think that someone on the bus might be behind it? I don’t know. Everyone here seems to hate my guts, Dieter’s been pretty bloody blasé about the whole thing, and Tete is just being Little Miss Tragedy, everyone is so sympathetic to [...]

Kian has been filling me in on the Notting Hill Carnival, so I’m very excited, but at the same time I can’t get reports like this out of my mind.
….after dark when gang of around 40 young men started throwing missiles at police officers around Ladbroke Grove. Scotland Yard said that at least one officer [...]

Haha, just realised DJ Yoda is playing! If Kian meets him again I bet he’ll go even more mental. This is what happened last time.

Aaaarrrggggh guess what!! After all my panic and sitting in the bus all the way back to London with a massive knot in my stomach, convinced that we had blown it and they were going to expel us from the show…they come back and tell us that we’re off to CROATIA for the next festival! [...]

So we’ll be filming ourselves from here on out… watch this space. We have no tasks, no requirements…it’s completely weird and to be honest it feels oddly directionless! Kian said to them that the only contract obligation was that we need to be filmed by anyone but I have to say, I’m scared the production [...]

Some truly serious stuff is going down here! Listen to this: Kian just told the production team to take a hike, so to speak, as the group reckon they’re behind all these nasty ‘leaks’ to that blog. So he says now we’re going to be in charge of the cameras and stuff and film everything, [...]

I just can’t put this excitement I feel into words – I’m totally exhausted but I don’t want to stop! It’s hard for me to sleep at night right now, I miss my Jonathon so much it hurts and not being able to see him right now is driving me crazy.
I’m [...]