I don’t even know who I am without him anymore. He’s not taking my calls again. Of course. This is what I get.

So yes. Jonathon finally got in touch with me. Turns out the reason he doesn’t want to speak to me (and hasn’t done for ages) is because of some stupid RIDICULOUS camera-film that frame me as some kind of slutty girl when I didn’t do a DAMN thing wrong, this is ####### unbelievable. It’s just [...]

It’s over. Everything. No wedding, no beautiful honeymoon, no children. Jonathon never wants to speak to me again, our relationship has ended. The last two years have been working up to my stupid hopes and dreams and now it’s gone and I am dead.

I just set our relationship status on facebook to “It’s complicated” and he approved the change like 20 minutes later. So the only thing he DOES respond to is confirmation that we’re going downhill?
I feel sick to my stomach.

You wont’ believe this. Mr German-man read my silly post calling him out on his endless sex talk and he’s gone and said some truly unbelievable things! “Oh yah yah Jonathon doesn’t loov you anymore giff up on it”, going on about how Jonathon and I are over!! Talk about hilarious – as if he [...]

Didn’t go back to sleep; been lying awake and thinking about my boyfriend. Still no word, of course, you may have gathered. If he thought I would give up after just a few days, he thought wrong. I’m in this for good. I haven’t taken my promise band off. I hope he hasn’t either.
Come on [...]

About to go to airport. Would be so nice if I could ring my sweetheart and tell him about this but no he has to insist on being childish it would seem. He’s stopped using Facebook completely as well. Sigh.

If Jonathon doesn’t start speaking to me soon I think I’m going to go out of my mind. I love him, I want to marry him, and be with him forever. It’s the real thing. Why am I wearing my promise ring otherwise?
And he won’t talk to me, won’t even acknowledge my calls, it’s like [...]

The thing is, this lot don’t really know much I’m going through right now, but I don’t really want to talk about it. I can pretend a bit it isn’t happening that way.

Actually it’s fine, if you are reading J, I’m just wanting to say hi, honestly. Don’t fret, hope you’re doing well my love xx