the end
So yes. Jonathon finally got in touch with me. Turns out the reason he doesn’t want to speak to me (and hasn’t done for ages) is because of some stupid RIDICULOUS camera-film that frame me as some kind of slutty girl when I didn’t do a DAMN thing wrong, this is ####### unbelievable. It’s just the way it was filmed. It’s not fair, I didn’t do this. I’m innocent.
I was drunk, for the first time in years, and I make one tiny slip and this is the retribution, this is the JUSTICE I get for my years of devotion and love and abstinence. I never gave into temptation. Just because that stupid boy came back to my room doesn’t mean anything happened. I swear to you Jonathon – NOTHING HAPPENED. He tried all sorts of things to get into bed with me but I didn’t do ANYTHING. And then he left. Why won’t you believe me?
I didn’t even want to drink, they were all egging me on, I just wanted people to like me…
Now It’s all gone. Nothing matters. It’s hard to even type anymore, I’m sobbing and sobbing and why even bother stopping?
Did I mention Hampton actually posted the film to my technophobe parents (how did he know they dont have a computer??). Because it’s not enough to destroy the only true love I will ever have, but you have to make my family think I’ve let them down, despite spending my whole life striving against it. They’re devastated.
Jonathon, my only love, is gone and I might as well be dead because I feel dead on the inside. He was my life. What is the point in carrying on? Who is to blame for this? Who tore my life to shreds for amusement? Who is even capable of such things? Is David Hampton some a demon sent here to trip us up with temptations and send us to Hell? Who is he?? This is so creepy and actually very scary to think that someone was filming me that night. One of my fellow contestants might be doing this…or the producers? It’s all too much.
I give up. This whole post might have just said “the end.” Because it is for me.
